In 2005 I bought from a flea market in Vallila, Helsinki, the written chattels of an
unknown woman. As I studied the material over the years her life and persona began
to open to me. I made a portrait of her to my series ‘Alienation Stories 2009’. This
reconstructed portrait had lots of inherent deficiencies and I never finished it.
However, it was a catalyst for a much more detailed project, ‘Atlas of Emotions’.
Many things have I witnessed through
this window. Faithfully it has reflected everything back:
the road sign, fallen along the roadside,
looks of the road users,
an invader’s march, the nails struck
though palms,
the noble family, the cold war, a singing
boy, banking crisis, yearning eyes,
acid rain, the intoxicating flesh,
the dense silence, cries of pain,
aimless rushing about, an injured knee,
monuments, natural phenomena,
insecurities, the rising sea level,
stovepipes forever dead now, retaliation on generation
after generation, uninvited guests,
the cellar door,
the missile crisis in Cuba,
travels long as light years, the birch-lined alleyway,
the unstable cradle, the low altar.
the wooden boats burned in Midsummer bonfires,
rebuilding, the stones skipped on water,
the mute mouth of my gentle father
the swollen rowan berries
the drunken birds
hay poles and diesel engines
the pink dress, blooming willowherb
the demonstrations, noise, contempt
the pared- down dreams, longing, all the evenings
the touch of my coarse husband
lingering pleasure
aircraft carriers,
the water which tastes of iron
full stomachs,
empty stomachs,
the salty taste of many tongues
building the Wall
breaking of the Wall
liberation of Nelson Mandela
the broken dishes and the radio static
the Vietnam war, the thrown rice on Church steps,
blossoms and withered flowers,
my grandmother’s bath robe,
the long Sundays, the ersatz coffee
attractive bodies, suicide bombers,
the sunflower- patterned pants, four-o-clock rush hour
full moons
half moons
the unexpected homecomings
when Anna the neighbour’s cervix dilated giving birth
the insults, the proposals of marriage
the broken bridge of Haapamäki
the table settings
the smell of wet peat, the cry of my firstborn
questioning my faith
the sudden movements of my attention- seeking sister
the industrial development
the EEC, Laura’s worries about varicose veins,
money transactions
lakeside views on summer mornings
the roughness of touch
the changing shape of
love.
All this and still more.