2009-2020
I reconstruct the narratives of anonymous individuals from online discussion forums, using actors as my medium.
In Atlas of Emotions, Jari Silomäki investigates the turning points in the lives of people who post on internet discussion forums from behind their alter-ego screen names. Silomäki went deep into the archives of the internet, spending hundreds of hours searching for the writings of anonymous people from around the world.
Silomäki strives to present some central strain in each writer’s life, and to repeat the feelings and events of the original post as accurately as possible. Silomäki edited the internet posts together into a manuscript and staged the authors’ homes in his studio, based on clues in the texts themselves. Actors then interpreted the reimagined scenes.
The writings on the surface of the work are extracts from the lives of anonymous people, in their own native languages. Sílomäki has blurred, altered, and edited some details to protect the identities of the writers. The work transports the viewer from the general to the specific and private: people’s fears, desires, and dreams. It is important to Silomäki to expand the concept of a documentary and to globally record events and emotions of our times.
Pseudonym Rose
Pseudonym Armeijakaveri
“ My army buddy is a masculine man, tall and handsome, full of attraction. I have seen women show interest before he said a word. When the man starts a conversation, the woman is sold right away. And not just any woman, but a smart and beautiful older woman. When my army buddy has sex, it’s not an experiment. He hasn’t taken anyone’s virginity and he never cheated on his partner.
In the army, he took care of the others, including me. He told clever stories. He’s smart, but not in the way people with university education are smart. My army buddy knows the practical stuff; he can make and repair all sorts of things. He has leadership qualities, reasoning, and problem-solving abilities. I’ve never met anyone like him before.
With my army buddy, what matters is what I want to be. Other people’s attitudes depend on how we appear in their eyes. Theo Fleury, the best man ever to play for the Calgary Flames, has ruined two marriages, his finances, and his health. Ice hockey is the only thing he has. And he doesn’t really have that anymore. Theo has won the Stanley Cup, led the player statistics, and broken NHL records. He’s a beloved player that I will appreciate forever.”
Pseudonym Miinasofia2
“ I fell off a horse and was too afraid to get back up on it. I rode a bike back home and closed myself in my room. Pink’s ‘Please Don’t Leave Me’ was playing on the radio.”
Pseudonym 来小姐
“ He asked me: ‘What are you feeling now?’ I told him I didn’t feel anything. He said he looked down upon me. I said that was his business.
It was raining outside. I walked into a little restaurant that serves breakfast and chatted with the owner. She asked me something private, like what my husband does for a living, how much money my husband gives me every month, and so on. Honestly, I didn’t like these questions, but I answered them all patiently. I was haunted by loneliness.”
Pseudonym Agnieszka85
“ I was seventeen years old, blinded by love, and pregnant. Half a year later, Cibor offered me his mother’s ring while walking in the street. He was seven years older than I was. My parents held a modest reception for the relatives. All was well, until my newly wedded husband said he wouldn’t be staying for the night. He was going home to his mother.
I lived with my parents, but my husband was with me when I went to give birth. The midwife praised him: ‘He held the baby so gently, and he cried.’ As we came back from the hospital, I found out our new address. The baby would sleep with Cibor’s mother and aunt, in their room. I would move into the extended kitchen with my husband.
When Martha got sick, I couldn’t go to her. My mother-in-law was tired, but still wanted to care for the child alone. If I tried to go for a walk with my daughter, my mother-in-law announced that she would take the child out. I could take care of my own business. I said no. They called me ungrateful.
I was an idle burden, an extra mouth to feed. The door to my child was locked in front of my eyes. I applied for jobs; I attended courses. I met people who taught me to be selfish. And that was how I acted, to get out of that sick house.”
Pseudonym Villes
“ So, I got an annual membership at a gym. Immediately I got hooked on the clunking of the free weights, the energetic background music, and those moments when I repeated the movements like a machine. A cold shower, clean clothes, and a recovery drink afterward became my greatest pleasures. On the way back home, it made my day when my legs buckled on the stairs. This is how I lost my faith. I was the last of my siblings to believe in Jesus until adulthood.”
Pseudonym Angervo
“ Yesterday was my youngest cat’s birthday and all its friends were able to come. In the evening I watched a recording of the royal wedding of Princess Victoria and Daniel. I had a dream about painting, kissing, and falling in love.”
Pseudonym Inkoo84
“ It was a clear summer night in 1984.
I felt a presence in my room. A sweater fell off the edge of the closet. I said the Our Father prayer. I clicked the night light on. In the morning my mom asked if the sound at night woke me up.”